Sub vs Dub
by nld200xy
Summary: It finally happened. The subbed OP cast are sent to 4kids island where they have to fight their dubbed selves. Will the dubs prove a bigger challenge than most opponents? No.
1. Chapter 1

Sub vs. Dub

Today was sure to be a very strange day for the Straw Hats. They hat fought many opponents over the past. Hell, they'd even fought each other a few times.

Today, something big would happen. For the first time ever, they would have to fight themselves. How is this possible? Well, it all started with an American dubbing company named 4kids.

It was run by an evil man named Al Kahn. Upon realizing that the Straw Hat Pirates we all know and love were living it large, he created evil mutated kid-friendly clones to take them down. Today, he was going to put his evil experiments to the ultimate test.

Now, on with the story…

One day, the Straw Hat Pirates were enjoying a lovely day at sea. Nami was reading a news bulletin they had picked up in the previous town. The rest of the crew crowded around to see what the big deal was.

"Attention, all money-loving pirates," it said, "You and your crew have just received the opportunity of a lifetime. If you have read this bulletin, then wealth and power can be all yours."

Nami didn't notice that in small text, it said, "And Chopper plushies."

Luffy grinned as Nami continued, "If you come to a special island titled '4kids Island', you will be entered in a special fighting challenge in which the winning crew will receive 100,000,000 Beli!"

Nami's eyes filled up with dollar signs as she glared maniacally at the crew and said, "You have to win this competition or else."

"4kids island…" Zoro stated, "Why do I feel as if we shouldn't get involved? Well, aside from the fact that we have no kids in our crew."

"Because you like seeing Nami unhappy," Sanji spat, "How can you be so cruel? If Nami says so, we have to do it!"

"That's if Luffy says so, you moron!" Zoro retorted, "And besides, this place sounds like it might be… uh… kiddish."

"I don't care," Luffy retorted, "We'll go to that island! It may be more interesting than you think."

Usopp laughed and said, "I'm not worried. I highly doubt that any skilled pirates would go to a place called '4kids Island'!"

"At the offer of 100,000,000 Beli, that may not be true," Robin replied as Chopper laughed and said, "It doesn't matter because we have Usopp."

That was that. It was official. The Straw Hats were going to 4kids Island.

Meanwhile, Al Kahn was sitting in his chair eating a big Mac while laughing and saying, "Those fools fell into my trap. Good old predictable Nami never turns down a money offer."

With that, the president of 4kids laughed while a series of bad puns drifted out of his mouth and said, "Finally, we're free! Now we can take over unlicensed anime and make them all suck so bad, they'll have to work for us!"

Meanwhile, the pirates were about to land on the island as a whirlpool opened up sucking in their ship and teleporting it into the middle of the said island where a small lake was perched.

"Damn it!" Zoro cursed, "How will we get the ship back into the ocean?"

"I installed wheels," Usopp said, "It should be alright, but let's go out and win the prize first."

"Yes, we have to win by fighting other crews," Nami explained, "and the last one standing wins the money."

With that, the crew decided to split up into groups to find more crews to take down. Luffy and Usopp both traveled together by heading north. Sanji requested that he be with Nami in his travels to the south end. Chopper and Robin went to the west, so Zoro was alone going to the east.

This is where our first chapter begins.

Chapter 1: Roronoa Zoro vs. Rolonoa Zolo

Zoro stormed through the woods, cutting down trees and bushes along the way. He sighed and said, "I'm sure the others can do fine without me. I'll just rest here and wait for the enemies to come to me."

As he closed his eyes, some rude passerby poked him in between his closed eyes as he awoke and asked, "Who did that?"

He was shocked to see that the moron who angered him was no ordinary opponent. This enemy from the opposing crew was… himself?

He hollered in terror and spat, "Who the hell are you?"

"You shouldn't say hell," this Zoro look-alike replied, "Hell's a swear."

Zoro grimaced and spat, "No it's not!"

"In America, it is," Zoro's double replied.

"Who are you and why do you sound like you haven't reached puberty yet?" Zoro asked as his double, feeling a bit offended by the puberty comment, explained, "My name is Rolonoa Zolo, the world famous ex-pirate hunter!"

"NANI?" the swordsman retorted, "I'M the world's most famous ex-pirate hunter! Wait, why does your name sound so close to mine with the exception of 2 R's?"

"Well, that leads me to the puberty remark. See, I'm your clone made by a special organization. I was made to basically be a kid friendly version of you," Zolo explained.

Zoro grimaced and asked, "I'll ask you a couple of questions to see if you really match my personality. How often do you sleep and what are your views of alcohol?"

"Alcohol is terrible and I sleep less than Usopp does," Zolo replied.

This obviously struck a nerve as Zoro bonked him on the head and spat, "THAT'S NOTHING LIKE ME! FOR ONE THING, I'M THE ONE WHO SLEEPS ALL THE TIME, NOT USOPP! FURTHERMORE, I'M AN ALCOHOLIC!"

"You ARE?" Zolo replied, "Wow, the boss was right."

"What are you talking about, you cheap knock-off?" Zoro questioned as Zolo explained, "I was sent by my captain to kill you. See, you're a bad influence on kids and people like you better, so in order to get a bunch of money and stop people from wanting to see you, I'll have to kill you."

"Just try, bastard," Zoro challenged, flashing his three swords.

This was it. The two lunged at one another. Sadly for poor Zoro, Zolo delivered the first blow. Zoro felt a small surge of pain and asked, "What the #&# was that? I hardly felt a thing. Plus, I'm not bleeding."

"That's because my boss doesn't believe in blood," Zolo explained, "He says it'll scare children."

Zoro gritted his teeth and shouted, "You, sir, are an insult to pirates everywhere! For one thing, you can't make an opponent bleed with a sword and… well… WHAT KINDA NAME IS ZOLO?"

Zolo held two swords on the opposite sides of him and shouted, "Onigiri!"

With that, he went right through Zoro's body. Sadly, unlike past opponents for Zolo, Zoro didn't pass out. In fact, he didn't even flinch.

"Face it, you can't win," he boasted, "If you can't kill me, then fighting me is pointless. As for me, I can make YOU bleed."

It was soon proven true as Zoro created large cuts and gashes on Zolo's body. Suddenly, something strange happened. Zolo regained his strength and snatched Zoro's swords.

"HAH! You see what I did?" he asked, "I switched your swords with mine. That means that I can make you bleed while you can't, because you're using weapons from my world while I'm using three from yours."

Zoro was now scared. It was true, these weapons that Zoro now lacked the ability to kill opponents or even make them bleed.

Zolo then struck Zoro in the gut only to notice that Zoro hadn't taken in any damage yet again.

"It seems that everything you touch becomes the property of your world, while everything I touch becomes property of MY world!" Zoro stated maniacally with an evil grin on his face.

Zolo gulped as Zoro took him down in a second. Zoro claimed his swords back and snapped, "Take your junk back with you! This Quado isn't Kuina's Quado! It's fake Kuina's Quado!"

That was that. This kiddy Zoro had finally been dealt with. 'I wonder if the others will face kid friendly versions of themselves,' he thought as he walked along whistling the original One Piece opening to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Sub vs. Dub

We now take our story to Nami and Sanji. As the two walked along, Nami stepped on something hard. She looked down and asked, "What's this lollipop doing here?"

"Whatever it's doing here," Sanji stated, "the one sucking on it is a disgrace to pirates."

With that, the two walked along while a guy who looked just like Sanji gasped and shouted, "Oh no, my lollipop! (I've been watching too much Lost Piece) Sub Nami crushed it! I like Dub Nami better."

Chapter 2: Clash of the Couples

As they searched for opponents for Sanji to fight, Nami sat down and said, "Sanji, go find me something to eat. I'm tired of all this walking."

Sanji's eyes shot up with hearts as he danced around and said, "Anything for you, my sweet Nami-sama!"

Sanji only took 20 steps when a guy who looked just like him stepped in front of him. Sanji glared and asked, "Who are you supposed to be and why do you look so handsome?"

"I'm you," this man replied, "only I was created by an organization to match you in every aspect while being more appropriate for the kids."

The second the man pulled out a lollipop, the chef had enough. He grimaced and spat, "SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LEFT HIS LOLLI LYING AROUND! GOD, since when do pirates suck lollipops? GOD! You don't deserve to have the same name as I do! Plus, you sound like a thug with a cold!"

"You sound like a French Frog, you stinky doo-doo head," Dub Sanji replied.

This was all the cook could take. Sanji took a drag of his cigarette and stated, "I'm going to kick your ass now."

Dub Sanji gasped and spat, "Smoke is bad! We have to ensure that more kids suck on lollipops and get toothaches rather than get mucus inside of their lungs!"

"For one thing," the chef retorted, "kids aren't that impressionable. Secondly, are there any kids present? Third, real men don't suck freaking LOLLIPOPS!"

Sanji went up behind the dubbed chef and kicked him in the ass… er… butthole. Dub Sanji got up and said, "You don't deserve to win this fight. Face it, you're a bad influence, your accent is less annoying than Mihawk's, and that is a bad thing, and you called Nami Nami-sama! Sama isn't even a real word!"

Sanji gritted his teeth with fury. This man was not only a walking stereotype but also denied the existence of Japanese terms.

Dub Sanji made the second move, though. He did a series of flips at Sanji and shouted, "Jerome Jostler!"

This tore the chef up inside to hear names like these. Sadly, he was gritting his teeth to long to stop the finishing move, which Dub Sanji called Double-Layer Cake Kick.

Sanji rubbed his chin and asked, "Why didn't I cough up any blood when you did that?"

"Our captain doesn't believe in bleeding," Dub Sanji answered, "he wants kids to end up carefree and stabbing each other believing that there'll be no bad results."

Sanji cringed and thought, 'God, every time this guy speaks I feel a pretty girl committing suicide.'

With that, the chef ran up to the dubbed cook and said, "It's time for you to deal with my ultimate combo."

With that, he sent a kick right to Dub Sanji's neck and shouted, "Collier Coup!"

Apparently, Dub Sanji heard a bunch of fancy orchestral music playing in the background while this happened. 'That's way better than the synthesizer,' he thought to himself as Sanji landed his foot on his clone's stomach and shouted, "EPAULE!"

This was a new feeling for Dub Sanji. For the first time in his life, he actually coughed up blood. He got up moments later only for Sanji to jump behind him and shouted, "Mouton Shoot!" thus sending the disgrace packing through a series of trees.

Sanji took a drag from his death stick and said, "Tobacco beats candy any day of the week, you loser."

Meanwhile, Nami was still resting and looked up at the sky. She sighed and thought, 'Why hasn't Sanji found anything to eat yet?'

Suddenly, a girl who looks just like her stood right in front of her and asked, "Tell me, are you Nami?"

Nami blinked and said, "Yes, I am Nami, but how did you know that and why do you look like me?"

"The reason for that is because I AM you," this new Nami answered, "only more kid-friendly."

Nami blinked and asked, "If you're me, why do you sound like you're twelve years old?"

"Because teenaged girls have to sound as young possible," Dub Nami replied, "Everybody knows that."

Nami couldn't stand this other version of her any longer. She wanted to think that she was day-dreaming, but she couldn't escape the fact that this was real.

She pulled out her Clima Tact, only it had balls on the two ends of it and was a bit more slender. Dub Nami blinked and asked, "Why does yours look so much cooler than mine?"

"I guess your world isn't up to date with mine. I got it in Water 7. How far have you got?" Nami asked.

Dub Nami stared blankly and said, "My friends and I are still in Alabasta, and I just recently got the Clima Tact." (Believe me, she has. I've regrettably seen these dubs on Youtube)

Nami grinned and said, "That means yours is the weak version. This version is five times stronger. Wait… did you call it Alabasta?"

Dub Nami nodded as Nami screamed and spat, "It's ARABASTA, you idiot! GOD, you can at least get it right!" (I personally don't make a big deal about that change)

With that, Nami twirled one of the thirds of her Clima Tact as a small yellow ball came out and she said, "Thunder Ball."

Dub Nami gasped and retorted, "It's called Thunder ORB, not BALL!"

With the, she swung her Clima Tact to the side as a small yellow ball about the same size with a little less yellow came out of it. The two collided, and in the end, Thunder Ball beat the Thunder Orb and touched Dub Nami's chest. Upon making contact, Dub Nami took in a heavy surge of power and nearly passed out.

She shook and asked, "Why is it so powerful?"

Nami laughed and explained, "In Water 7, Usopp made me an improved Clima Tact, so now Thunder Ball deals as much damage as the old Thunderbolt Tempo used to deal."

As Dub Nami protested that it was really called Thunderbolt Tempest, Nami ignored her and explained, "As you can see, your Clima Tact is inferior to mine in every way possible." (And believe you me, if you read the manga, you'll see that I'm not just splitting hairs when I say this. It really IS that powerful)

Dub Nami gritted her teeth, turned her Clima Tact into windmill shape and shouted, "Cyclone Tempest!" (Not sure if that's the attack I'm thinking of)

The attack hit dead on, but Nami only flew back a little ways. She rubbed her forehead and asked, "Was that the best you could do? Man, I forgot how weak my old Clima Tact was."

Dub Nami growled and went in for another attack only to be struck in the face by the good Clima Tact as Nami created a series of heat and cool balls and created her Thunderbolt Tempo. That was it. Dub Nami was finished.

As soon as that was over, Sanji arrived with a piece of boar and said, "I found this lying around. Say, Nami, why do you look like you've been in a fight."

"You wouldn't believe it, but I ran into a kid-friendly clone of me," she stated as Sanji gasped and explained how he dealt with the same fate.

Well, that's their story. Let's get to the others, shall we? And we will… next time.


	3. Chapter 3

Sub vs. Dub

We now take you to Robin and Chopper who were also scouting around for opponents to deal with.

Unbeknownst to these two, two peculiar foes were hiding behind a bush. One of them turned to his friends and said, "They look just like us."

"That's the point," the woman replied as they closed up their piece of bush and left.

Chapter 3: Points, Boosts, Fleur and Flowerets

Chopper looked around at his surroundings and asked, "Why aren't they any pirates here? There should have been many contestants."

Robin nodded and replied, "This is quite strange. I was so sure that the 100,000,000 Beli offer would attract more pirates."

Suddenly, a voice came out from the bushes behind them and said, "Hello there freaks. Mind if we drop in?"

Chopper gasped and asked, "Who owns that dreadful Texan voice?"

"Dreadful?" a woman who resembled Robin retorted, "Why, I feel a little offended by that, hon."

"Yeah!" a small reindeer that looked like Chopper spat, "That's no way to talk to a girl!"

"You would know," Chopper retorted, "You sound like a girl, rather geeky one at that. Wait… these guys look just like us, 'cept the one who looks like you covers up her boobs."

Robin gasped and replied, "You're right. Oi, why do you two look like us?"

Robin's clone laughed and answered, "We were created by the owner of this island to destroy you and make the world believe that we're the real versions of you. You could run away like Chicken Little, if you want." (Damn, that Chicken Little crack in the dub always pissed me off)

Chopper simply blinked and asked, "Say, Robin, which of us are the real ones?"

"We are," Robin answered as Chopper blushed, feeling rather embarrassed and barked, "I knew that, you asshole!"

"Why are you swearing at her for answering your question?" Dub Chopper retorted, "Swearing is bad, and friends don't deserve to be disrespected!"

"You mean you don't try to look tough with a tough-sounding word?" Chopper asked as his dub self shook his head and replied, "I just say 'I won't let this praise get to me, because I'm not a sap' or something like that."

"Even though you're me, I'm starting to disrespect you a little bit," Chopper replied.

Seeing as the conversation went nowhere, the two simply laughed and stated, "We should probably fight each other now."

With that, the two became their strongest forms. Chopper shouted, "HEAVY POINT!" as Dub Chopper shouted, "STRENGTH BOOST!"

Chopper blinked and asked, "Strength Boost? That sounds so lame and clichéd."

"No," Dub Chopper retorted, "Heavy Point sounds stupid! I mean, what does being heavy have to do with strength?"

"Can't you at least accept creativity that thinks outside the box?" Chopper asked.

Meanwhile, Robin and Dub Robin stared each other down as the two crossed their arms and shouted, "Grand Fleur/2 Flowerets!"

They each snagged onto the others legs as Robin blinked and asked, "What kind of name is Floweret? Fleur is more dramatic sounding."

"Shut up!" Dub Robin retorted, "You have no idea what you're talking about! In fact, you're silly!"

"Was that supposed to be insulting?" Robin retorted, starting to sound a bit out of character.

Well, while this went on, the two Choppers were trading blows. Chopper punched his dub self in the gut only to come face-to-face with Dub Chopper's fist.

Chopper blinked and said, "Despite the horrible name changes, your moves are just like mine and hurt just as much. Still, you're bruised and I'm not, so it's funny. Wait, no it's not! You look like you need a doctor!"

"You're right!" Dub Chopper replied, "I DO need a doctor!"

With that, the two ran around and shouted, "DOCTOR!" then stopped shortly and said, "Wait, that's me."

Meanwhile, Robin and Dub Robin were starting their fight. Dub Robin unleashed an attack she called 16 Flowerets Clutch and broke Robin's back. Mind you, no blood came from his mouth, but it still hurt like hell.

Robin coughed up a bit of air (Not blood) and spat, "I'll show you what a real attack is all about!"

With that, she sent a row of hands to where Dub Robin was and tossed her into the air and shouted, "Grand Fleur!"

Then, breaking the woman's back, she shouted, "CLUTCH!" and it was over.

Dub Robin coughed up a gallon of blood and passed out. Surprisingly, she was still standing, but she bled like hell.

Dub Robin spat out more blood and complained, "I've never tasted blood before! For years, I didn't even think I lived off of it! God, it's painful to bleed! I'm here to save you from having to deal with that everyday!"

Robin sighed and retorted, "I bleed less than the other crew members, and if kids didn't know of the existence of blood they'd live carefree and would probably stab each other expecting no consequences."

While this went on, Chopper and Dub Chopper continued their fight. The two became Speed Point, or rather Speed Boost in the dub's case, and ran at one another. They locked horns and kept a up a standoff for a couple of seconds until they stopped and leapt back.

"That's it, I need my rumble ball to beat you," Chopper stated.

"I know what you mean," Dub Chopper replied as the two pulled out their own special golden balls.

Chopper stared and the dub's rumble ball and asked, "Excuse me, but is that a fruit?"

Dub Chopper blinked and answered, "I believe it is."

That was the final straw. Chopper grimaced and spat, "IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MEDICINE, YOU MORON!"

Dub Chopper blinked again and stated, "Well, I can't be a bad influence and abuse drugs, can I?"

Chopper cringed and retorted, "Shut it!"

Then, he gulped down his rumble ball as Dub Chopper followed suit and the two ran at one-another.

Dub Chopper became, ahem, Jumping Boost as Chopper became Jumping Point and two leapt up into the sky. Dub Chopper threw a punch at Chopper as the sub reindeer turned into his Guard Point and avoided the damage that it was supposed to deal. (Of course, the dub Chopper could do the same, so it makes no difference)

With that, the two became Arm Point/Boost and ran at one-another.

Chopper gritted his teeth and shouted, "ROSEO!"

Dub Chopper did the same and shouted, "REINDEER ROUNDHOUSE!"

Each reindeer slammed the other in the chin with his hoof as they flew high into the sky and each landed on the ground with a thud. While Dub Chopper bled from his chin down, Chopper simply felt the same amount of pain but didn't bleed.

Chopper laughed and said, "I have an advantage over you. We can both knock each other out, but you're the only one who can't kill his opponent no matter what you do."

Sadly, when the two locked blows again, Dub Chopper amazingly got the upper hand and managed to use his version of Hoof Cross (Still to be revealed) on Chopper.

Meanwhile, both Robin's had used the same attack on each other, but since Dub Robin had taken in more damage to begin with, Robin ended up victorious. She sighed and thought, 'I'm sure Chopper should beat his opponent shortly.'

As Chopper struggled to get up, he pulled out two other rumble balls and stated, "Here's an ability that you're version probably doesn't know about. Tell me, do you know what happens when I eat three rumble balls within 5 hours?"

Dub Chopper shrugged and said, "I don't think so."

Chopper grinned and explained, "I discovered this skill in Water 7. It's called Monster Point, but it's very dangerous, so I need to be touched by water to stop myself from killing my crew members."

With that, Chopper immediately guzzled down the two medicine balls and shouted, "MONSTER POINT!"

With that, his entire body became 30 times its original size, his horns super huge and now he was pure reindeer Godzilla.

Dub Chopper gulped as Chopper took one swift fling of his horn and sent the doctor wannabe packing into the distance. Robin then showed up and used her Devil Fruit to put him in a small pond so the powers would ware off and he wouldn't start a rampage.

"The others are never going to believe this," Robin sighed, picking up Chopper's unconscious body and walking him to a safe destination.


	4. Chapter 4

Sub vs. Dub

Now that we're almost done, we will now take you to our last two crew members, Usopp and Luffy.

Usopp simply looked around and stated, "All the pirates must have feared my entrance to the challenge because there's no one here."

"That's very odd," Luffy said, "And here I was so excited to fight a series of other pirates."

"I was more than excited to fight them," Usopp replied, "because I knew that their asses would be mine if they were to face me! Besides, if they really do want to fight, I can just tell them that I almost beat you up."

Luffy laughed and retorted, "You couldn't even beat me after using up your entire arsenal! Although, you were under an injury, so that was impressive."

As they walked along, someone was hiding behind a bush thinking to himself while trembling, 'Sub me almost beat sub Luffy? Wow, I guess I am a powerful fighter. Why didn't Al Kahn make me a good fighter? Well, I'll show him! I'll capture these freaks against his wishes! He didn't want to use me because he had to go and make me the ultimate pansy! I'll show him what a real hero is!'

Chapter 4: Captains of the Grand Line

As the two walked along the path and searched for more opponents, Luffy looked up and exclaimed, "I can feel an enemy's presence from that way!" then pointed north.

Usopp glared and retorted, "How did you come up with that?"

"Don't you remember the old direction song?" Luffy replied then started to sing, "In the islands to the north, it is very hot. Pina purupuru, they're heads melt to the ground, and they're all idiots!"

"What did any of that have to do with finding opponents?" Usopp retorted.

Luffy scratched his head and stated, "Now that you mention it, that doesn't any sense, does it?"

"YOU REALIZE THAT NOW?" Usopp spat as he heard a noise.

Suddenly, to his shock, a man who looked just like him leapt out from behind a rock and pounded his cheek with a small hammer.

Usopp got up slowly and asked, "Who the hell are you and why do you look like me?"

The man cleared his throat and stated, "I am Captain Usopp and I command 8000 men!"

Usopp simply glared and retorted, "Okay, even if that was true, which I know it isn't since you're a copy of me, how is anyone going to take you seriously with that God-awful coward's voice?"

Usopp grimaced and spat, "I'm here to show my master that I am brave and strong by defeating the one who almost beat Luffy! See, Luffy, your kid-friendly clone was sent to kill you AND Usopp, but I decided to take a load off of his hands. That retard of a boss thinks that a long nose has to equal a bad character, so he cut out every moment of my life where I look good and gave me this horrible voice! If I kill you, he might change his mind!"

Usopp simply snickered. Dub Usopp stared in confusion as Usopp laughed really hard.

"You cannot defeat Captain Usopp!" he stated, "Considering that your boss made you weak, what chances do you have?"

"Shut up, pansy!" snapped a kid who looked just like Luffy.

Luffy gasped and shouted, "That must be my clone!"

"That's right," replied Dub Luffy, "and I'm here to destroy you!"

Luffy and Usopp both covered their ears and spat, "YOU NEED A THROAT LOSYNGE!"

Luffy removed his hands from his ears and spat, "What kind of clone are you? You sound like a girl with a sore throat!"

With that, the two prepared their most common attack.

The two captains held their fists back and shouted, "Gomu-Gomu/ Gum-Gum Blast!"

Sad to say that, judging by that last quote, Dub Luffy made the first move and sent Luffy flying deep into the forest following suit to make sure his subbed self didn't escape.

Meanwhile, Usopp had started his fight. Usopp pulled out his slingshot and so did Dub Usopp. They both grimaced and shouted, "Deadly Technique/Secret Technique, EXPLODING STAR!"

Of course, Usopp was using a kick-ass new weapon he invented in Water 7, so his star was stronger and overpowered Dub Usopp's star by a long shot. With that, they each pulled out a 5 ton hammer and smacked each other on the head. Sadly, they merely rubbed their heads and neither passed out.

"It's time to get serious!" Usopp shouted as Dub Usopp stared in horror and he pulled out a weapon that Dub Usopp had never heard of. He fired a small ball of fire as it turned into a phoenix and shouted, "DEADLY TECHNIQUE FIREBIRD STAR!"

This caused Dub Usopp's body to burn up, but he wasn't done yet. He pulled out a bottle of… dare I say it… fish oil and threw it at the man who looked just like him.

Usopp tried to wipe it off and wined, "I'm covered in alcohol! Now he's going to burn me even more than I… wait…"

Then, he smelled his arm and exclaimed, "This is fish oil!"

"Of course," Dub Usopp stated, "We can't us alcohol and let kids know that it's flammable, else kids may start drinking."

"Yeah, and if they tasted one sip of it, they'd probably give up on it because of its strong taste," Usopp replied. (At least that's the reason I don't drink alcohol)

"Shut up!" Dub Usopp spat, letting fly a 'Hot Salsa Star' causing Usopp's body to burn up.

Usopp arose from the ashes with a ton of burn marks and spat, "You may have these abilities, but if all you've gotten up to is Arabasta, then you probably don't know of the following attacks I'm going to use!"

With that, he loaded his big slingshot with an array of stars and shouted, "DEADLY TECHNIQUE SHURIKEN STARS!"

This caused Dub Usopp to bleed as he was forced back. He growled and stated, "For your information, I DO have that attack because it's in the dubbed games!"

'What the hell is he talking about?' Usopp thought as Dub Usopp pulled out his own Shuriken Stars. Sad to say that, although it hurt like hell, Usopp didn't bleed, so he pulled out an all new super weapon and knocked out his dub self in an instant.

"See?" he stated, "I am the true Captain Usopp! I'm the manliest of men, not some fairy like you! I have the development, you don't!"

Meanwhile, Luffy hadn't landed a single punch or kick on his clone because his opponent only needed two syllables to name his attacks while Luffy had to state 5 syllables. Because of this, Luffy had already taken in 25 powerful blows, including Cannon.

Dub Luffy laughed and said, "Face it, your attacks take too long to say."

Luffy gritted his teeth and spat, "Well, at least it sounds cooler than Gum-Gum and Devil Fruit sounds WAY better than Cursed Fruit!"

Then it hit Luffy. What if he just used the English word for Gomu? He put it to the test and shouted, "RUBBER PISTOL!"

This was apparently enough to finally deal a blow to his dubbed self. He then shot out his fists rapidly and shouted, "RUBBER GATTLING GUN!"

Then he started to unleash more attacks.

"RUBBER STAMP! RUBBER AXE! RUBBER BAZOOKA! RUBBER SICKLE! RUBBER STORM!"

Dub Luffy coughed up a gallon of blood as he spat, "Your attack names suck and are way too violent for kids!"

"Shut up!" Luffy retorted, "Names like Blast, Rapid Fire, Fish Head and Double Barrel are crap!"

This burned up Dub Luffy as he called upon some kind of hidden strength and unleashed 'Rapid Fire' thus dealing 50 blows to the subbed version of himself. Luffy rubbed it off and spat, "You're going to die at the hands of an attack that you probably haven't heard of, and it's called…"

With that, he placed his hand on the ground as energy filled his body and steam emitted from him. He held his arm out forward and said, "Gear Second."

Dub Luffy scratched his forehead and asked, "What's Gear Second?"

"I knew you hadn't heard of it," Luffy replied as he held his arms back and shouted, "Gomu-Gomu no… JET BAZOOKA!"

Dub Luffy had no time to react as a mass amount of energy emitted from Luffy's palms and sent the boy crashing through the trees.

With that, Luffy took a deep breath and headed back to Usopp. This was it. All the dubs had been dealt with and it was time for the interesting events to occur.


	5. Chapter 5

Sub vs. Dub

The ordeal was finally over. The horrible dubbed Straw Hats had finally been dealt with. The entire crew had made their way back through the forest and ended up in the middle of the island. Dead center was a huge building that looked more modern than anything the Straw Hats had ever seen.

"That's a HUGE tower!" Luffy commented in amazement as Nami sighed and stated, "This isn't the time to think about that.

"You wouldn't believe what I ran into!" Usopp stated, "I'm not lying this time! I literally ran into myself… only I sounded like a broken cassette! Whoa, where did that come from? Is there even such thing as a cassette?"

"Well, we believe you this time," Nami replied, "I ran into a dubbed version of myself too, only she sounded like a 12 year old."

"Mine sounded like an angsty teen," Zoro complained as Sanji stated, "Mine was a thug with a cold."

"Mine sounded like a nerdy girl," Chopper wined as Robin stated, "Mine was Texan.

Luffy sighed and stated, "You didn't have it so bad. Mine sounded like a little shrill girl with a sore throat."

It was then confirmed that everyone had been dubbed and experienced it.

Zoro turned to the tower behind them and stated, "This must be the place where that bastard boss of theirs processed them."

Each member of the Straw Hats nodded and agreed to break it. Unfortunately, the doors were unlike any they'd seen before. They were automatic and only opened for _invited_ guests.

The Straw Hats simply put all their force into their most powerful attacks and knocked down the door with next to no effort. (Now, could a Naruto ninja pull that off? I don't think so.) Luffy glared into the seemingly empty room and shouted, "IS ANYONE HOME?"

Suddenly, as if by magic, a bunch of random happy hobos came out of nowhere and said, "Look, we have guests! Welcome to the 4kids tower where we make America the saddest place on Earth!"

'I still don't know what America is,' the swordsman thought as the hobos took them on a tour. Some hobos were dressed up like Oompa Loompas and singing a bunch of theme songs made by 4kids.

"This where we process our theme songs," the tour hobo explained, "We're too lazy and stupid to write our own, which is why we're homeless, so we use a machine to shoot random words that we sort in the order we're most accustomed to."

Usopp looked over a lot of the lyrics and spat, "THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR PLOT! IT MAKES US SOUND LIKE RETARDS WHO FIGHT FOR NO REASON!"

Upon entering the next room, the tour hobo pointed to their surroundings and said, "This is the synthesizer room. We use up to 20 at the same time which is why music often tends to cut off the one currently running. We think it works."

Every Straw Hat covered his/her ears as the God-awful music played in the background.

Finally, after going through the voice-acting room, the covering cleavage room and the anti-alcohol/nicotine facility, it was time for the final area.

"This is where our boss, Al Kahn devises all of his evil schemes to ruin personas," the tour hobo explained, "He has a slight weight problem, but that's okay. He tries to make the world a safer place."

It was then that the tour hobo did the one thing he should not have done. He went and opened the door.

The second it opened all the way, the Straw Hats lunged at the fatass before them and started to beat the living crap out of him.

"You made me into a child!" Nami spat, whacking him on the head with her Clima Tact.

"You lowered my blade's power 90 percent!" Zoro shouted, slicing the man's arm off.

"You turned my Rumble Ball into a fruit!" Chopper spat, punching him in the face.

"You turned me into the pussy!" Usopp shouted, bashing on the head with a decent-sized hammer.

"You made me Texan!" Robin shouted, breaking his back.

"You gave me a cold and a lollipop!" Sanji complained, kicking him in the balls.

"You turned me into a shrill little girl!" Luffy spat sending him flying with Gomu-Gomu no Pistol.

That was that. It was finally over. Luffy cracked his knuckles and said, "He's been dealt with now."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a fat man who looked suspiciously like the man they'd just killed came out from behind a sofa that just came out of nowhere.

He laughed and asked, "Did you really think you could kill the president of 4kids Entertainment? I don't think so!"

Everyone turned around and shouted, "GASP!" (Imagine them actually saying the word in unison)

To make matters worse, the man they'd just killed had just melted half his face off to reveal a bunch of circuitry and bolts. Everyone cringed in shock as Al Kahn was revealed to be a robot and the real Al Kahn was now in their presence.

"One thing is for certain," Zoro uttered, "You made a mistake by showing your face around here."

Kahn laughed and scarfed down a big Mac that his chef hobo cooked up for him (It didn't taste very good) and laughed maniacally. He choked for two seconds, spat up the bit in his mouth and resumed laughing.

"You can't destroy me, because I have protection!" he stated, pointing to the dubbed Luffy, Zolo, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper and Robin.

"They're still alive?" they spat as Kahn laughed and explained, "See, they're your dubs. Sure, you can make them bleed, but in my world, death doesn't exist, so you can't kill them!"

"Big flipping deal," Sanji retorted, "We can just knock them out again. They can't make us bleed."

The dubbed Straw Hats laughed and replied, "That's where you're wrong, fools! Mr. Alfred Kahn gave us all super powerful 4kids-logic-defying drugs, so we have the power to make you bleed."

Usopp simply cringed and uttered, "Oh, snap."

Then he regained his composure and spat, "You still can't defeat Captain Usopp! Besides, your soldiers are out of date! They don't have half the abilities that we do!"

It was true. A lot of their abilities hadn't been revealed yet in the dub, so they couldn't do a thing.

"We should have waited for Water 7," Zolo stated, "Then Dub Luffy here could save us with Gear 2 and Gear 3."

It was then that the fight had commenced. Dub Luffy had done the same thing to Luffy that he had at the start of the fight, only this time, Luffy dropped blood.

"Let's see you beat you beat Gear Third!" he spat, biting his thumb and turning his fist super huge while shouting, "Gomu-Gomu no Giant Pistol!"

The giant fist sent Dub Luffy flying through the wall as his body went right through a rock. Kahn glared and spat, "I never let them get stabbed before because stabbing is the only way you can kill them!"

Zoro had no better options. After being hit by his own special attack, he was ready for revenge, so he knocked Zolo's swords out of his hands and stabbed him in the chest.

Neither of the two versions of Nami dropped blood, but Nami had managed to send Dub Nami into a fatal shard of glass.

Usopp simply aimed a Shuriken Star at Dub Usopp's chest while Sanji sent Dub Sanji flying into the same rock Dub Luffy had been jabbed into and Chopper became Horn Point and stuck his antlers right through Dub chopper's chest.

Robin simply picked up a shard of glass and jabbed it through Dub Robin's back.

Sure, the real Straw Hats actually were bleeding after their fight, but they were still full of energy. Kahn trembled with fear and spat, "Let's not be hasty, okay?"

"Shut up," Luffy threatened, just recovering from his mini state and sent the man packing out the window and onto the ground.

Zoro looked out and stated, "No one could survive that fall."

Suddenly, the tour hobo gasped and pleaded, "Please don't kill me! I didn't want to work for him! He just promised me a home!"

The crew simply walked passed him as he breathed a sigh of relief and pulled out a walkie talkie. He cleared his throat and ordered, "Men, release the other dubs!"

Upon entering the final room leading to the exit, a bunch of pods opened up as more dubbed characters jumped out and attacked the group. Sanji took out the Shaman King cast, Nami defeated the 'Mew-Mew Power' cast, Chopper took apart Kirby, Right Back at Ya, Zoro defeated Sonic X, Robin beat up Winx Club and Usopp took apart G. I. Joe, Sigma Six.

"What a nuisance!" they all spat in unison as they exited the 4kids tower. As they left, two remaining pods opened up and the two most dangerous dubs came out.

Meanwhile, just as the Straw Hats had left the island mourning over the fact that they had received no prize, Al Kahn awoke and said, "Thank goodness I follow the 4kids no death rule, or else I'd be a goner."

Suddenly, a marine ship parked itself up to the coast he'd ended up on and crushed him as Smoker emerged and stated, "There must be pirates worth high bounties here!"

Suddenly, he and Tashigi gasped as two figures that looked just like them stood before them. The Smoker clone had no cigars, but he had smoke coming out of his mouth anyway. He looked up and greeted, "Hi, I'm Captain Chaser of the Navy."


End file.
